BFF (Best Friend For Now)

I grew up in a huge family. My cousins and I were raised together like siblings. I was named after my aunt so everyone refers to me as Lil' Joe even my cousins who are younger than me. My mother is 1 of 10 kids. So birthday parties, fish fry Fridays, card games, reunions, church teas, Halloween parties, and big spreads for holidays and graduations were the norm. As a result, Lil' Joe is extremely social. I also make friends quickly. Being from the sign of Cancer makes me a moon child which translates to highly emotional. To say it in as few words as possible, I love hard. I feel everything deeply. Joy, pain, anger, and sadness are emotions that linger longer for me than someone else who may be of a different zodiac sign. When I make friends I make them for life. Now I aspire to make some 'for now' friendships.


At the age of almost 42, I find myself with a void in the friendship department. My research has taught me that this is normal for my age group. Relationships go through stages that require re-evaluation as life changes take place. Some of my friends are in new relationships or ending one, have new babies, have lost a parent, are creating new businesses or new careers. A few are flaky, shady, dysfunctional, and disloyal. None of these things matter for me as I am somehow great at handling multiple relationships at one time. I make every event I am invited to. I remember birthdays, anniversaries, and I love to celebrate major life changes. I manage people well because I am not judgmental, and I trust myself. My rule is that if I trust myself then I don't need to trust anyone else.  


However, here I sit with a void. Well not really. I am just in need of some fresh new relationships. I recently read about an anthropologist named Robert Dunbar who believes the size of a one's brain determines the number of relationships one can maintain (that rhymed). Last year during a Lifeclass episode with Oprah and T. D. Jakes, the genius preacher said something so profound it sums up my present state. The show was about mending relationships. Oprah asked him when is it time to end a relationship to which he basically said that if you're a person with a ten gallon capacity hanging around people with a pint size capacity then the relationship won't last. It reminded me of something I heard him say at a conference on the same subject. He said, "If you're the smartest one in your group then it may be time for you to get a new group." I am in need of new groups.


A small minded person would think I just called all my friends stupid, but that would not be your first thought if you knew me. I am magnificently brilliant. So at the very least my friends even the shady ones are interesting, smart, cute, and fun people. I am just all those things and then some. So I require more stimulation than the average Joe. I decided that in 2014 I would pursue some fresh friendships. I am not looking for a new best friend because I have had some great friendships in my life. I feel like if I went in search of a new, awesome, soul mate type of friendship then I would just be a greedy person. My best friend died in a car accident when we were 20, and we considered each other soul mates. If that was my only friendship then it would have been enough. It certainly has lasted despite her death. Everyday at 7:11, I look at the clock and know that she has just said hi to me whether it is morning or evening. She, like me, was a July Cancer. Her birthday was July 11th.


My other best friend and I have been friends for almost thirty years. I have another friendship that was formed in the womb. Our mothers were friends as kids and got pregnant during the same time so we were always thrown together as friends throughout the years. My friends from life coach school and I have been besties for 13+ years now. I made friends at work and am still friends with at least two former co-workers that accounts for a 14 year friendship and a 20 year friendship; she just became a new grandmother, talk about life changes. I have a friend that I met when we were both soccer moms rooting for our boys who were the star players on the same team. That friendship has endured for 9 years now. She met her soul mate online, got married, and moved to a new town to create a great new life. I have more than my share of great friendships. Maybe I am greedy and spoiled. I just want someone to get together with socially on a regular basis. We don't have to complete each other.


On that note, there is always my hubby. Who is truly my best friend and soul mate. Then I have my awesome kids. Another one of my rules is that women should not give birth to their friends. So while I can hang with my kids, and we have great laughs and great times, they are not my friends. I was blessed with two younger sisters and we are friends. But those relationships have changed as well. I remember back in the day there was a TV show called Sisters that we never missed. The thing is I have always been a caretaker for my sisters. I have recently learned that everyone is more comfortable with me being in the caretaker role more than in the friend role. Sometimes I need a friend who can take care of my needs whether it is a need to vent and whine, get drunk and party, or travel and go on adventures with. Trying to do this with my sisters almost went into the same realm as if I were kickin' it with my kids. For some people in my life, I do not have the luxury of showing weakness. So while everyone is in transition mode, I am going to the movies alone, watching The Housewives alone, and sitting outside of karate alone.


My hubby has his golf group, his brothers are all older so he can lean on them if needed, and he talks to his business partners everyday for work ideas and projects. When you're a stay at home mom going through the same school lessons for the fifth time, it can become a bit un-stimulating. Writers keep conversations going all the time in their heads. I need to get out of my own head for stimulation. On laundry day, I pass the time by getting into some great debates with strangers in online message boards about current events, but I desire something more. I want more social friendships. Maybe I am meant to become a socialite.  


So here I am in 2014 on a mission to get in some friendship dating by putting myself out there. I go to charity events, workout classes, and kid activities trying to bond or click with other women and moms. But nothing has stuck. I went to see Beyonce' with my trainer, and we are becoming friends, but time does not allow for development of a social connection. I went to Vegas to see Maroon 5 with my massage therapist, but we are now in two different cities. I used to have a weekly appointment with an awesome hair stylist that I considered a friend for 8 years, but now that my hair has fallen out from thyroid issues, I haven't reached out socially. I was even good friends with my nanny back in the day, but she got married and the relationship changed. Making and keeping friends is easy but getting together regularly, not so much.


Relationships change and people's priorities adjust because of it. So what is a girl to do specifically to find friends? I went in search of a friendship dating service and I found one, GirlfriendSocial.com to be exact. A women only, for friendship purposes only website for finding a new friend anywhere in the world. On top of that, I also found a new book to read called, MWF seeking BFF. It is a quirky book about a woman seeking friendship in Chicago. She goes on 52 friendship dates to find the one. She meets up with someone from work, book clubs, workout classes, or recommended by other friends every week for a year. She got enough material for a book so it goes without saying that my blogging may get busier while I am friendship dating.


So far I have reached out to other friend seekers from St. Louis, Chicago, and London (which I am considering moving to within the next ten years). The website is free and run by volunteers. I am considering becoming a guest blogger on their website as well as an event host. I would coordinate gatherings for the ladies from the site to get together to fill that social void. No networking, strictly platonic, safe friendship dating. We all know I can throw an awesome party in my sleep. So exciting times ahead for this Mogul Mom.


I will wrap with a recap of my January. I was off to Harvard for a writing class that I needed to matriculate as a degree candidate. I braved the east coast weather and travel dramas for 3 weeks, wrote two great essays, and made friends. We laughed everyday in class. It was awesome. The teacher who was equally brilliant, awesome, and fun had us tell the story of our name as an ice breaker. By the end of our first week of ice breaking, everyone was calling me Lil' Joe. Meeting with them everyday brought back memories of the good times I used to have with my employees in my café everyday. Maybe this is what sparked my friendship search. I desire to have a group of friends that I see regularly for common interest that I can laugh with, share dramas with, and enjoy the things that make life worth living.


We finished up the last day of class by meeting at a bar called John Harvard Brew House. The bar had delicious food (shepherd's pie and bread pudding omg!), top shelf drinks that were not watered down for those 21 and over, and more laughs. I am convinced that one classmate will be my daughter in law one day. Another was a former marine back home from Afghanistan getting a degree, a med student from Korea, some highly adept computer hackers tackling Harvard's educational system, another Korean student whose dad was teaching at Harvard, an MIT employee, and a cool lady who works in the emergency room and already has her Master's degree by way of a portfolio application. She just wants to get her bachelor's to complete her degrees list.


I found my college bar in Boston and everyone knew my name like an episode of Cheers. I was definitely not the smartest one in this group and it was awesome. However, the group confessed that they all agreed if anyone would get an 'A' in class it was going to be Lil' Joe. Of course I got a well earned 'A'. I had to tear myself away from the good libation, delicious food, and awesome conversation so I could catch my plane and get back home to my first priority which is my family, but we had fun while it lasted. A few of us are going to try to get in the same class together for the summer session.


Despite the weather, my January was as sunny as can be. My only resolution is to create some fresh new friendships. I need a workout buddy, a brunch buddy, a fellow TV and pop culture junkie to gab with, a mom friend, and my husband and I need a new couple friendship. I am speed reading through this book because the writer has too many insecurities to be interesting. I just want to see how it ends and get some friendship dating ideas. I may start an investment club or a book club. The website is going to be great for my career if it affords me the chance to practice my writing and speaking skills should I volunteer to blog or host events. So far, I have started conversing with two potential friends. I will keep chatting online for about 3 months before I get together with anyone.


I will hopefully have new pictures and articles to post from some great February events that are on my calendar. Until then . . . 


Take care of you.

Black Girls Rock!

So I wrapped up 2013 with the usual suspects for the holiday (my tribe). Thanksgiving dinner lasted for about ten minutes after it took me 2 days to cook all the recipes I wanted to try. I did manage to get up on Thanksgiving morning and get in a 5k Turkey Trot. I set a goal to beat my last 5k time of 41 minutes. I also had a goal to run the whole 3 miles without needing a walking break. I ran the whole way but finished at about 43 minutes.

December found me with my usual holiday blues as I am on the outs with my relatives . . . maybe. During the holidays I especially mourn my losses as the New Year approaches. The first song on my holiday playlist is always by Prince of course. His song, Another Lonely Christmas makes me think of my deceased best friend Tarsha.

Well one day while I was praying and meditating, I asked God to send me comfort and he answered my prayer. The two days a week of church and spiritual service were helping but they were just not putting me over the edge back into bliss land until the answered prayer came in the form of Beyoncé's new visual album . . . OMG!!!!

My daughter, who keeps me flyer than I would normally be, alerted me on Thursday night that the album was dropping that Friday morning. But for some reason the joy of such news did not push past my fog until Friday after meditation.

The best money I have ever spent has been on some form of a Beyonce' product. She makes me happy to be a black girl in America. I reclaim my lost childhood when I dance around in my underwear pretending I am Mrs. Carter on stage in her leotards.

Well this album not only soothed my hurt soul, it sparked action and that is what this life coach loves most. I went to Stub Hub and bought 4 tickets to the Mrs. Carter concert which was rolling through St. Louis that Saturday, how divinely timely.

So I listened to her new album on repeat all day in between watching her videos which were a huge bonus that I would have gladly paid extra for. I got 4 tickets for my daughter and me; and then I invited my trainer, and my daughter invited a classmate.

This made for the 3rd Beyonce' concert for this Mogul Mom this year, and I enjoyed it as if it was my first. Mrs. Carter is indeed flawless in her performance. BTW, Flawless is the name of one of her new songs that feature the heavily critiqued lyrics, "Bow Down Bitches." Turns out that is just one line is a superbly perfect song aka Flawless.

So the breakdown of her album goes like this for me. This album celebrates a grown up and happily married Beyonce' Carter, mommy to Blue Ivy. Do not listen if you have delicate sensibilities; it is for grown women who will appreciate Beyonce' sharing her vulnerabilities and strengths so we Mogul Moms do not feel the full brunt of, "Another Lonely Christmas."

I wrote a whole review of the visual album on post its to put up on this blog; but I don't have time for all that, just trust me, it is awesome. My favorite song is Drunk In Love. Which prompted me to get drunk after the concert at home in my kitchen while I continued my own personal Beyonce' concert and dance session (yep in my underwear). I was the driver for the night so at the concert I could not indulge. I certainly made up for it with Grey Goose, drunk emails to my sisters, and sexy texts to my hubby.

Her song, Heaven just picked up where Prince left off and actually helped me to go ahead and get over the edge of mourning the loss of my best friend. Her line, "heaven couldn't wait for you" summed up the hole in my heart perfectly.

The last song I will mention is entitled Blue named for her baby girl hence the particular color of this font. It is a perfect love song from a mother to her child. My own baby girl said the concert was the best night of her life. She and her friend were hand picked to go to the front of the stage to populate the Beyhive. I saw her up on the giant screens 3x holding hands with the Queen Bey herself.

I, like Beyonce', live this life to make it better for my baby girl and then to relive it through her happy eyes is the bonus I get for doing a great job.

My baby girl is 20; my best friend was 20 when she died; and I have spent 20 lonely Christmases crying in my kitchen in between holiday hits. This year, my tears will be more joy than sorrow coupled with the release that comes with freedom. I cry tears of joy for a life well lived, my daughter's and mine despite heartache, tragedy, and setbacks.

2013 was my lucky year.

In 2014, you will find this Mogul Mom enjoying her life as a proper Queen.

Bow down indeed.

The Power Couple

     I would be the first to admit that marriage is a motherfucker. It is actually the title of one of my infamous playlists. (For those that don't know, I create playlist to deal with stress). But all in all, I must admit marriage is a blessing. Anyone who has been in business, worked on a team at their place of employment, or possibly was broken off into groups in a school setting to work together as a team, will appreciate my points. Marriage may be a motherfucker, but it is definitely a partnership. Imagine an institution designed so you will never be alone, have financial perks and tax breaks, and you get to have sex with a person whenever you want. Uh, pump those brakes. You did read that correctly. Marriage is a motherfucker. Though it may appear to have been designed this way, marriage is hardly any of these things.



Joe's 35th Birthday Party . . . on a boat.

       Marriage is some of the hardest work you will ever have to do in this lifetime besides working on oneself. This is the reason why it is even more important that you have worked out most of your issues before getting married. Once you are part of a team for life then your issues get multiplied by 2 simply because you have to consider another person. Don't get me started on parenthood. That will be for another blog at another time.

     Tyler Perry made a movie entitled, "Why Did I Get Married." I suggest everyone asks themselves this question before the nuptials, "Why am I getting married?" I do believe most people get married for love and then upon realizing that love is not enough they try to figure things out within the dynamics of the marriage. When I got married, I definitely loved Gregory and wanted to be with him. However, we were already living together and had a kid at the time so it is not as if either of us were leaving the other's life anytime soon. The reason I got married was because I wanted to go to Vegas.

     Yep, you heard me. Greg and I had a big fight a week before we got married. I was telling him that I wanted us to get on the same page in the relationship. I wanted to know what the plan was for our future together. I am a planner and he is not. When I wake up in the morning I know exactly what I am going to do for the day. When Greg wakes up in the morning he makes up his day as he goes along. After the argument, he bought a ring from a pawn shop; called my dad and got his blessing, and then asked me if I wanted to go to Vegas to get married. I admit that I stopped listening to him after the word Vegas.



     In Gregory's mind, he was solving the problem. In my mind, I was probably planning to hit it big in Vegas and then move out. The same issues we had before we got married, we had after we got married. The trip and the planning of it just seemed to have put the argument on hold. Sure enough, we resumed said argument in the airport in Vegas on the way back home. I told Gregory that as soon as I got home I was getting an annulment (This was not the last of our airport telenovelas).

     We have been together 19 years and we still have the same argument from that day. I ask him, "Are we decorating for Christmas?" "Are we going to stay home or travel for the holidays?" "Who do you want to send gifts to for business or family?" I ask these questions because I am a planner and a budgeter. I budget my money and my time. His response is, "I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead." Later that day, my son brings in the mail and there is a postcard from a company that will string your lights on the house for you. Greg calls the company; they come out the next day, and there the decision is made that we are staying home for the holidays. The decorations are done . . . in his mind. In my mind, the conversation has not yet been had. 

      And this folks is what goes on in marriages all across the land: two conversations, two plans, and two very different ways of doing things. There was a time when my feelings would have been hurt because the conversation was left unfinished. I would have felt discounted and unheard. Today that will not be the case. Today if he goes ahead and spends that money on the lights, and we do finish the conversation, and together decide not to stay home then so be it. If I decide I want to travel and he decides he does not then so be it. Today we know that we could even spend Christmas apart from each other, and we would be fine. Back in the day however, I would have sworn he didn't love me, and I wasn't a priority. We have learned over almost two decades of partnership that my issues are not his, and his issues are not mine.

     The thing to note is that marriage is more of a merger than a partnership. 50/50 is not going to cut it for marriage. What would be the point? Two halves joining forces to make a whole is no guarantee of success. The reason is this. Under this framework, if I am having an off day and he is having an off day at the same time, which happens, then we may wind up with 50% energy and effort. Well hell, I can be alone and give my own life 50% energy. Now this may not matter when it comes to dirty dishes in the sink, but when you are a saver and she is a spender, it will matter big time should you join your monies.

     Under the merger dynamic, the goal is to bring together two thriving conglomerates in order to create a super power. No one should get married if he or she is not strong in mind, body, and spirit. You would be better off staying single. Why ruin two lives?

     Tyler Perry made another movie entitled, "I Can Do Bad by Myself." I definitely subscribe to this philosophy. Early in my marriage, I think I left Gregory every October and went back home to my mom's place. Every October like clockwork as the end of the year approached, I surmised that I needed my life to have meaning and depth. If I felt like we as a couple were in rut, I left said rut and bolted for the door. Hell, I could be stale and boring alone, and I always learned that it was me being stale and boring in my own life. There was even one year when we almost did not make it back for the rebuild, and divorce was eminent. Yet rebuild we did to become stronger than ever until we weren't.

Last year cooking for Thanksgiving listening to Tamar Braxton's song, "Love and War," I cried all kinds of tears into the mashed potatoes. By Christmas, I decided we should get a divorce to which Gregory replied, "Okay." He said, "you are always trying to leave me so okay." He took the kids to the weekend house, and I was home alone with myself. It didn't take long before we were texting and calling each other. Sitting at home in complete silence of course led me to the Internet. It was there that I dealt with the frustration I was having that I blamed on my marriage.

     The truth was that I had felt small knots on my neck and worried that some form of cancer was coming back. I have no thyroid so it couldn't be thyroid cancer again. On the Internet, I learned that lymphedema is common is cancer survivors so needless to say I was relieved because all signs pointed towards that. While on the Internet, I found out about the Mt. Shasta climb which I signed up for and completed this June. I learned that lymphedema is helped by massage. So not needing too much of a reason, I increased my monthly appointments to the Four Seasons Spa. After dealing with what was stressing me out, a few massages, and something exciting to look forward to, I was ready to be married again.

          So here we are one year later more in love than ever. Marriage is still a motherfucker, but then again so is working out, house training two puppies (another blog another time), and driving in city traffic. The difference is within a marriage it is easier to blame the other person involved than it is to look at oneself and ask, "what's your problem."

      I, unlike Oprah, have never had a problem with the famous line from Jerry Maguire, "you complete me." If you have learned like I learned over almost two decades, marriage can complete you. When I am not at 100%, my husband fills my gaps and makes me a whole person and then some. The key to a great marriage is to never allow yourself to fall below 80% as an individual because then the marriage merger suffers. I feel that if you are at 80% then you are a thriving individual in life. So if within the marriage both people stay above that line then at the very least we will be at 160%. Just a little bit more than one and a half person.

     A power couple consists of two people in the 90% range at all times. This looks like me being strong in mind, body, and spirit and so is my partner. This means I can go far alone, like say 11,100 feet up a mountain on the west coast. However being part of a power couple means that I will have help to limp through three airports, with two kids, and make it to my first day of summer classes on time on the east coast two days later. Which we did.

     Later this month, we are traveling to Florida (boycott ended) for a wedding. I feel like I get the best of both worlds. I get to travel at holiday time and then I get to come back home and spend more holiday time chillin' with the family. More perks and benefits from a successful merger.

     It will be a second try at marriage for the couple whose wedding we are attending. My prayer for them will be that as they come together for their second marriages they will do so as whole and secure individuals first. Doing so will make the union stronger for the long haul. I myself have learned this lesson from my 2nd, 3rd, 4th and now 17th marriage. I have just recreated wedded bliss with the same person over all these years.

Take care of you 1st!

Bow Down Indeed!

So here I sit back at home after attending the funeral of my dad's oldest brother. Uncle Bobby died at age 72. My birthday is 7/2/72 so a few lessons were mine to claim. All was well until I decided to voice my opinion along with everyone else at the family card game afterwards. Who did I think I was?

Unfortunately, I remembered the Chris Rock comedy skit too late. He basically says when you are the one with the money then you can't have an opinion. But later for that. Why do I have to shrink who I am to please other folks and their insecurities. I too have heard the scripture, "If meat offends my brother then I will not eat." but someone please tell me what to do if my breathing is offending someone. Well I have decided to find my breathing space somewhere else.

Let me not send the wrong message. When certain family members saw that I was hurt they rallied around me to assure me that I was loved, I was valued, and that I was not, in their eyes, considered the second class citizen that I felt like. So we hugged it out and we will see where it all goes.

I am writing this blog because I learned a very valuable lesson. It is a lesson that every Mogul Mom needs to learn the first time it is taught. Well I have finally got it after many lessons. I am worthy to be loved. It is just that simple, I am worthy to be loved. Anyone who does not value you or me then later for them. No matter who they are.

On another note. Last time I blogged I was sitting in Starbucks chillin'. So much has happened since then. That day I managed to meet up with a friend in NYC and treat her to the awesome Beyonce' concert as a birthday gift. Yep, this Mogul Mom went to two Beyonce' concerts in one long weekend.

The first concert on Saturday was all family. I took my sisters, the hubby, and all four kids. The concert on Monday was girls night out and Mrs. Carter delivered the goods. Could the concert have gotten better in two days? Yep!

I got to witness the Carter Clan at work. Beyonce' sang, Diva just as well as she did on Saturday but then she dropped down into a trapped door for what I know now was a quick wardrobe change. She emerged and went right into singing her controversial song, Bow Down B*tches. That in and of itself was Amazing! but before we could just appreciate all her Houston flair, out comes Brooklyn Native Son, Jay-Z to sing Tom Ford. It was the truth! That is a phrase we 90's militant rappers used to say something was as righteous as it can get. This performance from Mr. and Mrs. Carter was just that...righteous.

Pure talent is still appreciated by this Mogul Mom. Success is valued by me even more when I see others who have achieved it but still are down to earth and hardworking. I have been to concerts with some lazy performers. To see that Beyonce' put her heart into both concerts equally without missing a beat...man give me some of that energy. So to the haters of the world, I may change the name of my playlist from Facedown to Bow Down!

I'm A Grown Woman. I Can Do Whatever I Want!

So here I sit in Starbucks on 78th & Lexington in NYC reading & writing all morning on a Monday. My boys #2 & 3 are in Scitech Camp until 3pm. So I am waiting on the time to pass. What a difference two decades make. Who knew the things I did while homeless would be yuppie chic one day. The big difference is today, I have money to buy 'whatever I want,' I have a few homes to go back to, and my bags are now Louis Vuitton.  Dreams definitely do come true.

The boys' classroom for the week is Central Park and various places around the city that will teach them about the science of nature. Son #1 is back on his classes at NYFA and loving New York in the summertime. Before we got here for our visit he emailed me a photo of himself, "wrecking shop at Double Dutch." His ability to get the crowd amped got him noticed, and he made yet another business contact via business card. My good mommy plan is to buy him a business card holder to keep his contacts in order.

Well my summer is wrapping up with the submission of my first screenplay for my screenwriting class on Wednesday. The final assignment is to complete the first Act, a tag line, and a step by step outline of the entire movie that I am writing. How awesome! I decided to update this blog while taking a break from writing dialogue (that rhymes).

Here's what you missed: in May I sent out 10 copies of Wendy Williams' new book, Ask Wendy, as Mother's Day gifts. I hope someday someone will buy lots of copies of my book and give them as gifts. I am so close. Wendy's book was great, by the way. No one gives advice as well as Wendy. Btw, we got to see her last night after her evening performance in the broadway musical, Chicago. She was great as usual. I got to tell her that I bought two wigs from her new wig line with Especially Yours.

Anyway, I am going backwards, better in the blog than in life.

On Saturday, my family and I had the distinct pleasure of once again seeing Beyonce' aka Mrs. Carter perform in her hubby's hometown. She was great as usual. Does excellence ever get old? I sure hope not. I will be buying Beyonce' concert tickets for the rest of my life. She makes me glad I am a black girl, a feeling I only get from Beyonce', Michelle Obama, Wendy Williams, and of course Ms. Oprah Winfrey. Btw, Gayle King and her daughter were at the concert rocking out like they were glad to be Black Girls that rock as well.

Oooh that reminds me of a story; my sweet Caucasian hubby finally wore the t-shirt I bought for him out in public and the reactions he got were almost unbelievable. The t-shirt said, Black Girls Rock! Seeing as his wife and daughter make the statement true, I thought how apropos. But wow did it rub some people in a certain kind of way to see a Caucasian man wearing a shirt that says Black Girls Rock! He experienced more black folks having a negative reaction than whites.

Well it was a precursor to the conversations of the summer. A Cheerios commercial sparked controversy when it portrayed a biracial couple. Followed shortly thereafter by the Paula Deen disaster. May I go on record as saying I still love Paula Deen. I too unfortunately, in the past, have used the horrible n-word, but then per Avenue Q., the musical, I believe "Everybody's a Little Bit Racist." It is not something to get up in arms about, instead let's keep having intelligent conversations about race and bias in America. Start with the September issue of Essence magazine with Kelly Rowland on the cover. There is a great article inside that sheds light on unconscious bias.

With all that said, I join the boycott of Florida. I will not spend any of my money there until they change their, "stand your ground laws." I have three black boys that I pray to God for the strength to see them safely into adulthood and beyond without racism negatively affecting them permanently. The conversation that every black boy must hear to prepare him to save his own life when faced by a scared Caucasian with a gun, is a rites of passage activity, unfortunately. Trayvon Martin and Emmett Till will forever be honored by any success my three black boys have in this life.

Back to blogging, on Friday in New York we got to see the very incredible musical, Kinky Boots. A great story about the plight of a different kind of black boy that is equally important. Watch the movie if you can't make it to Broadway.  It made me want to buy some new high heel shoes. When I learn to post videos and photos you can see first hand how Joe does retail therapy. (I need an assistant!)

Prior to coming to NYC, I wrapped my summer term at Harvard Summer School. Like I mentioned earlier on Wednesday I submit my final assignment via email. I love technology. I had to withdraw from my government class due to the fact that it conflicted with my plans to see Beyonce' this weekend, but alas I learned a lot about our government and politics in general.

And finally the report from the mountain top. Yes, I, Joe Williams-Nelson did manage, without injury to my body or my ego, to climb Mt. Shasta in California. It was definitely as hard as the marathon but not as inspirational as the marathon. I climbed to 11,100 feet before having to come back down in the dark of night. The staff at the Breast Cancer Fund is amazing to say the least. However, I will never do that shit again. Next on my list is a triathlon in Chicago by the time I turn 50. This gives me 9 years to learn to swim, but my 8 year old tells me I am a fast learner. He is teaching me more and more whenever we have access to a pool. Thank God for the Ritz Carlton in Boston. It was a lifesaver when the 13 year old decided not to come back to the summer apartment for the weekend. He was in Gamers' Academy at Harvard, and the baby boy was stuck with the parents for two weeks without his big brother.

Well, I have definitely gone passed my break time. "Back to Business" for this writer.

I will wrap with this little tidbit about progress. In this very crowded Starbucks, I have shared my small table with at least four people who happen to be beautiful Caucasians. One man set up his computer and worked right across from me; another man ate his lunch then left; now a lady who has finished her meal sits across from me reading. Even when other tables opened up they remained. God is Amazing! I pray you are loving life as much as me these days.
Stay blessed. Until next time . . .


Take care of you.

Traveling and Training

Let's see, since getting back from Vegas, I went to Chicago for a doctor's appointment, Atlanta for the Final Four games, and am going to Punta Cana next week with my hubby. All is great on the home front with adult kid #1 helping out a lot with kids #'s 3 & 4.

The boys are doing their lessons every day and they love, love, love their music lessons. God blessed us with finding a Heroclix league for them to attend every week. They absolutely love this. They learn more about the game and always come home with a new Heroclix action figure. The game of Heroclix is like chess and Stratego combined with comic book characters. I am so proud that my boys are fanboys/nerds.

I am behind on blogging. . . maybe. I have been posting my opinion on a lot of message boards. It is great fun. I never get into any debates but I always get likes on my comments. You can find my big mouth and opinionated self, commenting on Huffington Post blogs, OWN TV message boards, Bravo TV message boards and blogs, and of course I occasionally make comments to let Ms. Wendy Williams know she is doing a great job. I am either MamaJoe7272 or MogulMom7272. Having an Internet presence is  important for selling books.

Today I will be joining my friend's new service she created to support self-published author and illustrators. Society for Independent Authors & Illustrators. Speaking of best friends, I am more than pleased to announce that the hubby and I have been chosen to be godparents for Justice David Washington.

I am training real hard for my mountain climb in June. Mt. Shasta, I am almost ready for you. I am carrying a 30 lb. pack on the treadmill and on Sunday I completed a 5k in 45 minutes. I found 100 steps to add to my elevation training in Cahokia, IL. Remember the Breast Cancer Fund is my charity for the climb. Donations, info about the climb, and the work of the Breast Cancer Fund can be found on their website.

Until next time...stay fly.

Vegas . . . right where I left it.

I got home from Vegas yesterday and am happy. Vegas is like Disney World for adults. I went to the Maroon 5 concert. The opening acts were Owl City and Neon Trees. The lead singer of Neon Trees was the best performer of the night. He gave great energy, he danced, and put his heart into every song. I am now a new fan. I liked a few of their songs that I heard on the radio but now I am his fan. Tyler Glenn rocks. I wish him much success. He was like a cross between Mick Jagger and Atom Ant.

Now on to the main event of the night. Maroon 5 was very good. Adam Levine is definitely a talent. He sang effortlessly and seemed to have fun. He did not seem to connect to the audience much. I could have avoided the seat hoggers; Kim K. wannabes; vomiting, stumbling drunks; and the groupies by watching the concert on an HBO special. However, Adam Levine was a sight to behold in person at least once. He made the concert more personable towards the end when he got the audience to sing "She Will Be Loved" in rippled sync with, "Won't go Home." It was great. He left us with the advice to, "enjoy the days when your f***ing neck doesn't hurt" as his way of saying he is older and more appreciative of life.

The person trying to connect with the audience was guitarist James Valentine aka Jimmy V. He gave great hair and had a few guitar solos. He impressed me considering, I never paid much attention to any other members of Maroon 5 save for the one black guy, and that was just to notice that there was a black guy in the band. I wish them luck as they navigate their future endeavors amidst the newly heightened brand that is Adam Levine.

On another note, Vegas was great but there were moments when it was not. My advice to a few of the people who make Vegas was it is and isn't is that you still have a chance to keep our relationship in tact. Make some positive changes while you still can, and we can avoid a breakup. Practically every town has a casino close by so why still go to Vegas? Well the good parts begin with the trendiness of it all. It's Vegas baby and no other place on earth is going to stimulate like Vegas. Anticipation is everything.

I had my first Guiness in honor of St. Patrick's Day and it was quite tasty to this non-beer drinker. We ate at Ri Ras Irish Pub in the Mandaly Bay and it was better than superb. Shepherd's Pie will be my last meal. We went to a small tourist trap of a bar called Minus 5 as in degrees. The concept was great but I would never make a second visit. That is essentially the draw of Vegas, balancing things you want to go back and do again and again with the one time experiences. For instance I will never waste my time using the concierge at the Mandalay Bay again. For that matter, I will never stay there again. As convenient as it is to attend a concert close to your hotel room, I found it was not worth it after all. I couldn't play the table games I wanted to, and the one's I did try had dealers who were so cynical and jaded that I preferred the cold comfort of a good slot machine. There was an electronic craps games that drew a crowd right outside the Eye Candy lounge and that was big fun. The people we played with were a riot and good music was close by.

Speaking of Eye Candy lounge it was a saving grace. Big ups to the deejay, servers, security, and bartenders for holding it down. It was my best club experience in Vegas to date. I got married in Vegas so going back for mini vacations is always sentimental. I won't complain about the taxi drivers or any lines because over the years I have come to appreciate these as part of the attraction of Vegas, great for people watching and getting the local lowdown from taxi drivers.

The best thing after Eye Candy lounge at Mandalay Bay was the poolside atmosphere and the cabana service. It was the highlight of my trip and that is saying a lot considering I was there to see Adam Levine. So to all the servers working hard in Vegas, you are definitely appreciated by this Chicago chick who has been visiting your city for 20 years now. You could never be replaced by a computer and that is great. When I celebrate my tenth visit to Vegas hopefully this blog will be more popular and I can give proper shout outs to you people who make the visits memorable. Maybe we will head there when my baby girl turns 21.

Btw, Coco was a no show for the Peep Show and it was still a great and fun attraction. I saw it with Mel B. and Kelly Monoco and now with all the less than famous folks and it was equally great. Maybe Peep Show can save some money and leave the celebrities out of it.

Until next time,
Take care of you.